The secret to living and working smarter is to put the pursuit of your life's purpose, goals and intentions first. It's one of life's most important decisions and most people don't even view this as a choice.
Does this mean that you need to stop helping other people and selfishly put yourself first? No, I believe that the true sign of success is measured by how much we give back to others. This is about recognizing our purpose in life, why we are here and what we hope to accomplish.
Most of us are constantly pulled from one commitment to another, from one priority to another, from one appointment to the next. On my bad days, I will frequently remark to my wife that everyone wants a piece of me. And what I really mean is that there is nothing left for me. This somewhat random pulling leaves my ship rudderless.
So much in life is affected by how much and how often we allow external forces to control our lives. In many cases, we are driven by our jobs. Sadly, few employers have any sense of loyalty and even though you may have literally given the prime of your life to them they can and will cut you in a heartbeat.
Others surrender their lives to their children. They are so busy being super moms and dads that they forget what is important to them. The kids grow up and life passes them by.
Still others give their lives to temporary euphorics -- alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling -- need I say more. In the end, many in this group ultimately hand decisions about their life to a judge and he decides what's best for them.
Why does this happen?
1. We were raised in a society with a hierarchical structure.
2. We are insecure about our ability to take charge.
3. We have difficulty putting ourselves first.
4. We can't say no.
5. We are easily distracted and find it difficult to focus.
6. We are overly influenced by others.
How to put your life goals first
Break your goals down into doable pieces. In setting your goals you might start with writing your own obituary. Much has already been written about goal-setting so I won't rehash it here. For me, goals can just setup failure so I tend to define goals more broadly -- as intentions or direction. This way it's easier to adapt to change.
Each week I find it easiest to list things that I would like to accomplish during the next week with each week having a theme. I usually work on this over the weekend so that I'm organized and ready to go when I start the week.
Find your golden hours When do you work best? For me it's the first four hours of the day. For you it may by late at night or after lunch -- whenever it is value this time as your golden time. Own it. Cherish it. This is time that you can best fulfill your life's goals.
Flow like the water When I'm at my best I'm in the zone. I'm living the moment without distractions. There's an easy flow to what I'm doing. When I grew up I'd frequently sit by the brook behind my grandmother's house and just get lost in its flow. That's how work is when I'm working on what I want to do instead of what someone else wants me to do.
Say no You are a limited resource. Stop giving yourself away to easily. Save yourself and your most precious commodity, time, for accomplishing what you want to do with your life instead of what others would have you do.
Learn Spend some time of each day learning. Read a book, go to class, search the internet. Find a topic that supports one of life's intentions and study it.
Work it It's true that accomplishing many goals may depend to some degree upon talent. Far more often, however, it is the time and effort that matter most. It's not about counting the minutes, it's about thoroughly enjoying what you are doing.
Stick to it and miracles will happen. Be purposeful. Be mindful. Celebrate as you move forward.
When I was 29 one of my life's goals was to hold elective office. My chance came shortly after I moved to Thompson, CT, a town of 8,500 people (roughly the size of Wasilla, Alaska where Sarah Palin was mayor, though the comparison stops there). Even though I had lived in town for less than a year I was determined to make a run for first selectman, the New England small town equivalent of mayor.
This was an impossible task. Most elected officials in town came from families who had lived in town for generations. In some cases, they were descendents of town's original founders. (The term "Swamp Yankee" may have originated in Thompson during the American Revolution in 1776.)
I received training in campaign management and public speaking. Organized and wrote a 63 page campaign plan. And here's the important part -- I worked every waking hour on the goal of being elected. In the last week of the campaign, I was knocking on over 200 doors a day. We would work it until 9 p.m. and then we would take the notes made at each door and write personalized letters to each person I had spoken with, which would include details of our conversation. After midnight, we would drive to the 5 different post offices in town and drop the letters. In the morning's mail, people would receive a letter thanking them for taking the time to talk to me and responding to any concerns that they might have raised the night before.
I won the election by 37 votes and I held elective office for the next ten years.
If you put your life's purpose, goals, intentions first then every day you will move closer to making your dreams a reality.
