There are many defining moments in one's life but none so important as the struggles, challenges and obstacles that we face. In my own life, I have found the most breakthrough moments to be when I have prevailed over adversity. These are glorious mountain-top experiences that can have a life-long effect.
Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.
Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star newspaper because he lacked creativity.
Babe Ruth set a major league record for the number of strikeouts.
The Beatles were told that their guitar music was on the way out.
Albert Einstein wasn't able to speak until he was four years old and his teachers told him that he would never amount to much.
These examples are not surprising to me. Have you ever wondered what Shakepeare's english teacher might have said to him?
While not surprising they are inspiring. I also find tremendous inspiration (and at times tears of joy) when groups gather to celebrate their triumph over life's challenges:
Relay for Life Throughout the United States and many countries around the globe, cancer survivors walk and run to raise money to help fight cancer.
Recovery Walks Every year thousands of people in Hartford Connecticut celebrate their recovery from addiction to drugs and alcohol by walking to raise awareness that recovery is possilble.
Adversity comes at in us in all sizes. Small, super-sized and in between. Adversity may not always come in a big package but it is important never the less -- sometimes it's the persistent pressures and irritations of everyday life that build frustation, anger, anxieties that threaten our physical and emotional health.
7 Tips to Overcoming Adversity
Welcome and embrace life's challenges. Sometimes it's helpful to reflect on how other people successfully handled similar challenges. In my day job, I'm a web applications developer and there are times I want to pull my hair out while trying to make a program behave a certain way but I remind myself that for every problem there is a solution. It's not just a saying, it's true.
Cut it down to size. It helps to keep perspective. Sometimes adversity comes in the form of a perceived insult or slight. You can gain perspective by asking you what part you played in creating the situation. Stop going over the problem over and over again. Stop the tape loops. Remember a problem was never solved by worrying about it.
Cut it into pieces. If possible, it helps to cut the challenge into pieces. You want to lose weight and you realize that overeating has become a habit. Change one part of the habit every week. Start using fat-free milk the first week. Eliminate sweet snacks the second week. Increase fresh vegatables and fruit in the third week. You get the idea. Bite size habits are easier to change.
Accept what you cannot change. There are some things you just can't change. Your ex got the house in a divorce. You can't change this (but you don't have to drive by the house on your way to work either). The Serenity Prayer can be helpful:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference
When one door closes another will open. It's important to find the silver lining in everything that we do. Realize that at times it will appear that nothing good can come out of a particular situation. My experience has been even when situations appear to be hopeless that they always eventually resolve to the good.
Learn and apply to other parts of your life. Each time we overcome a small part of adversity in our life that experience becomes available to us and can be applied to other challenges. For instance, people who have given up drinking are frequently better equipped to give up smoking. Do not worry about giving up all your bad habits at once -- usually taking them one at a time is more effective and lasting.
Don't try to do it all yourself. This one is important. There are many situations where you must accept that you cannot face adversity alone. Some cases, like addictions to drugs or alcohol, you can only begin a process by admitting that you are powerless to deal with this alone. Seek others who have shared similar problems. Seek professional help especially in the cases of financial, legal and health related issues.
Overcoming adversity involves more then just getting through something. You might manage to save your house from foreclosure but unless you take steps to make fundamental changes in your finances and how your manage them you may face that same adversity again.
Overcoming adversity is not just a matter of willing yourself through it. In fact it may have been your will that got you into trouble. Be brutally honest with your own shortcomings and what you need to do to change your life. This doesn't make you any less of a person. It actually is a sign of greatness when one acknowledges shortcomings and failures -- and learns from them. Look at the list of people at the top of the post again and you'll see why.
